Yellow,

So it's two days to the end of November, and it's a crazy month as usual. Okay, before getting more into the post, I would like to give some warning, that actually.... I am in the kind of mood where my mood is being played by the hormones, so if you found this post is kind of melancholic, yes, I am being played by the hormones.


Hormones sucks. I can feel super sad and super moody without any particular reason, and a reason will just be an excuse for me to let it out. But it felt good after it came out, like now, I feel so much better. The positive thing about this kind of mood swing is, I get to be productive. I wrote some poems inspire by someone that I won't mention, but it's a pretty good stuffs, better than what I can do in regular basis at least.

So, getting to the NaNoWriMo, I was quite confused what I was going to write this year. I completed last year dystopian novel, still unfinished until right now, where I am writing this now. And I actually forgot what I want to do with the ending, So it's kind of abandoned, but it's a great story and original, to think about it again but yes, I need some real dedication to work with it. The thing is it's dystopian, so if I have the goal to publish it, it's going to be a little bit rough.

Thus, I created more mainstream-genre novel this year. It's a young adult novel, the working title is C'est La Mort, I'm not sure whether I want to keep this title or going to write. I found the concept earlier this year, writing about 2K words then I stopped. The concept is rather cool, but in the outlining month, I changed it a bit, to a little romance. What I am, never experience romance but writing with the reference of movies and stuffs? Yeah, so me.

I wasn't pleased with the way it ends, and I need to write one more scene, even if it's past 50K already. But the scene supposed to have some dark feels, but I didnt feel it at all. I thought it's going to be suck, plus, without I really want to, some part of it unconsciously seems similar to some other story. Honestly, I respect originality, and I hate when my story turns into un-original, even I write it originally, and have no intention to looks like other story.

But later on, I just wandering off the internet, and found this video by John Green talking about NaNoWriMo. As one of my favorite author, I do believe him. He makes me feel it's okay if my draft sucks, as long as I have the determination to revise. So yeah, I'll set my goal to revise, to rewrite( I prefer this one, since revise means I just need to re-read it, as long as I concern) So, here's the video that inspire me so much:


So my goals, here they are:
1. I need to list my plotholes.  I have plenty. At first I write using 1st person POV then I changed it to third person. Then I wrote she is *la* and *la*, no spoiler about this one though.
2. Make a schedule to rewrite.  You see, nanowrimo only works for me because they have a certain target to achieve per day, and the second thing is I feel good having some people around me. It can brings so much more, like, I need to win because I will feel good in front of people (and I just need to finish something) So, a schedule yep.
3. Do the actual rewrite! And dividing into chapters, since I never been good at this so far.
4. Diggin some new writing techniques, like from attending seminars and stuffs, reading books also helps.
5. Never ever quit.  This is important, since I got a lot of time frustated fixing something when I got stuck, so this is one of major things that I should promise to myself.

So, I believe though that my NaNoWriMo draft is going to turn into something BIG someday, okay, I'll set a standard of when it will turns big. But I'll give you some evidence of a good, one of my all time favorite novel, Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell, it's a marvelous novel full of feels, plus it's super relatable to me. It was written in 2011 nanowrimo and turns big. And I believe though, I CAN FRIGGIN DO THIS.

About the NaNoWriMo itself, it was a busy month. usually I get super productive at the weekends, when I didn't have anything to do. But well, second and third weekend are fully occupied, plus this weekend as well, but I still write. Mostly, I write with sleepy eyes and probably so much typos. But well, I'll get to it at my rewriting. It's a solo year again, no write-in, actually trying to hold one, but people are kind of unresponsive, or I'm the one who can't be the leader (sometimes I secretly want to be a ML, but well, I don't think I will, because they require at leas 18 years old) So struggling alone, yes. My strategy for this year is waking up early and sleeping out late, no caffeine included though.
Also, I found a really helpful site beside of the NaNoWordSprint on twitter, it's write or die. It force me to write until I can write about 300 words in 10 minutes averages.

And, here I am I just WIN!!! duh, really, my mood swings ruined my celebration, but I'm proud of myself anyway!