monologue narratives.: 2015

Dear The Maine,

by Felly. - 4:51 AM

I know that you guys are having family emergency and I'm really sorry to hear that and I wish that everything is fine but I really hate to say that I have lost my trust to you guys.

The Maine means a lot to me, I have been a fan ever since I was in 7th grade, which is in about 2010/2011 and I've been a fan for 4 years and in those time I have a good times. You guys always have your way with your music, I always found myself fascinated with the magic of your music, I feel happy and sad listening your songs. more importantly I just feel your music gets me personally, it's a good thing because nobody else, no other musician ever have songs fitted perfectly for situations in my life.

I even promised myself that I wouldn't want to spend way too much money investing on another band/musician than you guys.

And that's why when I heard the Maine is coming to Indonesia, I was so happy. I'm a student, I'm eighteen and I don't live in Jakarta, I live in a city called Surabaya which is in the east of the Java. And my parents didn't really agree with me going out to Jakarta just for the sake of concert, I've been trying to get their permission for years, and this is the first time they actually let me go, because I said that I'm going to pay all of the expenses, that include the transportation, accommodation, tickets, and expenses there.

In August I prepared everything, I already booked flight to Jakarta and bought the tickets. I was so stocked to see you guys, I know some people I know will watch it and I'm looking forward to meet them. I was happy, I thought it will be great.

And 10 days before the show everything fall apart. I thought that it was a joke when the promoter said that the Indonesian show will be cancelled because of 'travelling issue' shit that haven't been explained up until now. Someone said that it might be because the sales is not that great, God knows what is the real reason. I'm heartbroken, did you know that I will skip school and go out of town and I have asked permission to the teacher that is one of the hardest person to meet at school? And to cancel the permission thing, it's not even funny.

It was heartbreaking when I read the updates of concerts in Brazil and Singapore. It should be me there, in the crowd, singing and having the time of my life. But well, the only place that have travel issues seems like Indonesia.

Moreover, the promoter said that you will be back in November. I still have a hope, I was wavering between changing the date to Clean Bandit in December or The Maine in November. But I got another thing to consider: It is most likely the week of final exam in school but I didn't know when is the exact date. I can't decide until the final day, or I will lose all of my money on the plane tickets.

I'm saving money from bits by bits, from little work that I have done, and losing that much money is new to me.

Finally, I decided to put my trust in you guys, even though there's no detail or anything regarding the festival, I only know the date, I trust you. Because The Maine means a lot to me, I get your song personally. Once, I was having a total breakdown, you have no idea how bad it is and your song is the one who help me through. I always love John, I want to hear his voice live. And I do believe that you guys aren't like the rest of the people, you won't let us down.

I guess I hope too much. Because, like all people, they will let you down.

At last, I got the news. Even though it's in the weekend, I still have exam on Monday. I have a little trust issue so I arranged everything from the ticket buying and the accommodation within this week. In fact, just yesterday and just this afternoon I bought the ticket and booked the accommodation. Just this afternoon, when I heard that the other artist that is going to play this weekend from US is already leaving, but I haven't heard any news from The Maine.

I started to worry. I mentioned the maine and everyone.

I couldn't even concentrate on studying for tomorrow's test, in fact, up until now I haven't finished studying. And the news is out. I feel numb, to be honest. Like part of me is expecting for this to happen, because just yesterday my mum talked to me about the possibility of them not playing. Somehow, I thought she was being paranoid, but it turns out to be true. You guys let me down, for the second time. In this year, after all of the sacrifices that I have made, it's all in vain. I'm disappointed and I have to say... I might not watching your next show in Indonesia if there's any (sorry, but please consider all other Indonesian fans, in numbers there might not as much as in Brazil or US but they still take you guys personally) especially if it require this much sacrifice and will ended up being cancelled very close to the day. After 10 days, now 2 days, I lost my ability to feel sad.

I just feel that everything is really ironic. I mean after the free for all tour in US I think of you guys very highly, you're real musician who don't just take away people's money as much as you can. And I feel ironic now and then how much I'm willing to pay but it ends up in this way. I'm sorry if I sounds like I put the blame in you guys, I donr have any intention to do it. Honestly I also lost trust in the promoter as well. I would appreciate if you guys said that you're not playing a show at all here rather than saying yes you would play a show yet cancel in in two days before the day. But the thing is please never do this again. Not twice, I know you must been through a lot there in US but please consider us as well, you let a hundred of people down. There might be not only me who come from outside Jakarta.

All of these time, people are people. People let me down, even the one who I thought wouldn't do it.

Well, I'm sorry but I must stress that I can't trust you anymore. Unless you make it up to me, but I'm just a fan of yours, nobody that you would notice. Well, I'm fine on my own. Please do a show sometime in Indonesia, I don't know if I might be there or I still have my saving to be there, but do it for the rest of the Indonesian fan. And don't cancel it again. Hope you guys are doing well and will have everything fine, hope you're having fun in Australia. :)

Love,

Felly.

P.S. due the overwhelming reponse from people. I want to apologize if you say this is rude, or shitty or whatever you prefer. I was just disappointed at that time, after all the condition that we, Indonesian fans have been through. I completely understand the family emergency situation. And i understand that they are human as well, I'm just expressing my opinion and last night I realise that I still care about them, it is completely normal to feel disappointed after 2x cancellation(i'm not a regular concert attender, i could count the concert that i have been in one hand). They mean a lot to me. I will not take down this blogpost, and I would prefer if you stop bashing me on twitter because it is hard enough for me to see them cancelled, i dont need people bashing me on twitter. I hope you understand how I feel along wih the rest of Indonesian fans, thank you.

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Things That I Can't Speak

by Felly. - 8:42 AM

Napasku terengah-engah.

Aku tidak dapat lagi menghitung seberapa jauh aku berlari. Aku hanya tetap berlari sejauh mungkin seperti ada seseorang yang sedang mengejarku, dan bukannya tidak mungkin ada seseorang yang mengejarku. Ketika aku meninggalkan kabin itu yang terletak di tengah hutan, entah bagaimana aku dapat mendengarkan suara sirene polisi dari kejauhan dan itu membuatku benar-benar ketakutan. Aku terbangun dan tidak mengingat apapun dengan pemandangan seorang laki-laki yang kukenal lebih dari sekedar teman terbaring, tidak bergerak, kemungkinan tidak bernapas. Peraturan pertama yang aku tahu, aku tidak akan menyentuhnya dalam sirkumstansi apapun. Polisi mungkin menemukannya dan akan menarik hubungannya kepadaku.

Aku tidak tahu apa yang harus kulakukan. Berusaha untuk menenangkan diriku, mengatakan bahwa semuanya akan baik-baik saja. Aku meringkas semua barang-barangku secepat mungkin dan meninggalkan kabin itu tanpa melihat ke belakang. Aku tidak dapat melihat ke arah laki-laki itu, ia sudah menimbulkan cukup banyak trauma. Hutan itu gelap, berbekal sebuah senter aku berlari dan menemukan stasiun bus terdekat. Hari sudah cukup gelap, masih beruntung aku dapat menaiki bus terakhir. Pergi sejauh mungkin dari tempat ini, itu sudah lebih dari cukup.

---

Tiga bulan sudah berlalu.

Kehidupanku sudah mulai kembali stabil, aku menemukan sebuah pekerjaan biarpun tidak seberapa, tinggal sendirian di sebuah flat, menyamarkan diri di antara kota besar ini. Begitu mudah untuk menjadi invisible di tengah kota yang begitu ramai, begitu mudah pula menjadi kesepian di tengah keramaian. Paling tidak, sejak kejadian itu, hanya sekali aku pernah mendapat telepon dari polisi.

Malam itu akhir pekan yang ramai, aku berjalan pulang dari tempat kerjaku yang tidak terlalu jauh ke arah flatku. Tidak ada tujuan lain, aku tidak memiliki teman selain teman kerja yang menganggap ada sesuatu yang salah denganku. Orang-orang yang berpapasan denganku tampaknya memiliki teman, aku adalah pengecualian, tidak ada siapapun untukku yang menemaniku. Mengurangi rasa kesepianku, aku menyalakan musik, menekan tombol shuffle, dan menghubungkannya ke earphone dan mulai mendengarkannya.

Pilihan komputer secara acak jatuh pada sebuah lagu yang tergolong baru, berbeda dari biasanya. Musiknya begitu sesuai dengan langit sore yang mendung, secara gradual berubah menjadi malam gelap. Kalau dalam kasus langit malam, ia akan meraih satu titik dimana langit malam berubah menjadi pagi hari, namun tidak dalam kasusku. Seberapapun aku berpura-pura bahwa semuanya baik-baik saja, I'm falling apart.

Kesepian.

Satu kata itu mendeskripsikanku dengan baik. Tidak dapat menghubungi keluargaku, biarpun memang aku tidak pernah dekat dengan ibuku--satu-satunya keluargaku--tidak sampai aku merasa benar-benar aman. Aku tidak dapat memberikan penjelasan kepada mereka. Aku benar-benar sendirian, tanpa teman maupun keluarga. Dengan uang pas-pasan dan flat dengan cat yang nyaris mengelupas dan lantai yang memiliki bau urin tidak perduli seberapapun aku mencoba membersihkannya. Tidak akan lama, begitu caraku menguatkan diri dalam keadaan seperti ini.

'Cause I've done some things that I can't speak

And I've tried to wash you away but you just won't leave

Musik yang kuputar mencapai bagian refrain, menampilkan progres dengan alunan nada dalam not-not minor yang terdengar misterius serta ironis sekaligus. Itu bagaimana orang melihatnya sekarang, misterius, namun di dalam lubuk hatiku? Ironis. Saat itu aku tiba di tepat di depan pintu masuk apartemenku. Aku terhenti sejenak, melihat siluet laki-laki yang familiar itu berdiri dengan tegap, tidak terlihat terluka dan sehat. Nyaris seperti ia sedang menungguku di sana. Bagaimana ia dapat menemukanku? Bagaimana laki-laki itu ada di tempat ini? Semakin berjalan mendekatinya, semakin aku menyadari bahwa ia adalah laki-laki itu. Sudah tiga bulan sejak aku melihatnya, dan jujur, aku tidak menyangka bahwa aku akan melihatnya lagi.

"Mengapa...? Bagaimana?” Kata-kata tersendat keluar dari mulutku.

"Shhh," Laki-laki itu menghentikanku berbicara. "Aku memaafkanmu."

Seketika air menetes dari mataku dan tidak dapat berhenti. Di depan sebuah jalan yang padat dengan manusia, aku tidak perduli lagi. Seketika semua perasaan kesepian itu hilang, aku ingin mendekapnya dan meminta maaf untuk apapun yang sudah kulakukan, tapi tubuhku lemas dan tidak dapat menghentikan tangisanku.

"Thea, shush." Ia menenangkanku. Sudah lama sejak ada seseorang yang memanggil namaku. Rasanya familiar, nyaman dan menyenangkan. "Aku tidak dapat tinggal lama, kau tahu dimana kau harus mencariku."

Aku tidak ingin ia pergi, memiliki seseorang biarpun untuk sebentar membuatnya merasa lebih hidup. Tapi ia tetap pergi, dan aku tidak memiliki otoritas untuk menghentikannya setelah hal-hal yang kulakukan. Ia meninggalkan sebuah pesan, ia masih ingin bertemu denganku lagi, kembali ke tempat dimana semuanya berakhir.

I'm begging you to keep on haunting

---

Aku menemukan diriku di tempat itu, kabin di tengah hutan.

Bahkan proses untuk sampai di sini pun agak rabun di ingatanku. Dari luar kabin, langit terlihat seperti tengah malam dan bintang-bintang menghiasi angkasa luas. Kabin itu disegel oleh garis polisi, tidak ada cara untukku dappat masuk ke dalamnya. Dan tidak mungkin bahwa laki-laki itu ada di dalamnya. Aku menyadari kesalahanku, kebodohanku. Lalu siapa yang ia lihat tadi? Aku begitu senang bertemu dengannya hingga kehilangan akal sehat dan tidak menyadari apa yang terjadi.

Hanya ada dua kemungkinan. Aku dapat berbicara dengan hantu, atau aku sudah gila.

Terinspirasi dari lagu Haunting - Halsey, kredit judul juga. Untuk tantangan #KataNada

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REVIEW: Sense8 Season 1. [felly does review]

by Felly. - 7:54 PM

A couple days ago, I did something that I'm kind of proud on in my plain holiday. I binge watch Sense8 (a netflix original series) and it's just sooo goood that I'm dying to watch it over, plus I finished the whole season in two days. My remarks: it's so awesome. I'll tell you why.

First, the concept of the story is so cool. Like how eight stranger all around the world (Will in Chicago, Lito in Mexico, Nomi in San Francisco, Wolfgang in Berlin, Sun in Seoul, Capheus in Nairobi, Riley in London, and Kala in Mumbai) have a certain connection that allow them to visit each others and do other cool stuffs. Another thing is they literally shoot those scene in the respective places, it's very awesome.

And the development of the story is really good. Everyone have their own story arc and somehow they all connected, I don't find so much logical flaw in the series, mostly because it has been explained really well or I didn't notice stuffs because I was really crazy about the show and bingewatching it. I really want to watch it for the second time in fact.

The pace is really well, I read on the internet that they actually divided the show into 3 acts. For me it's two somehow, like the first one when they are reborned as sensate but haven't really communicate with each other. Just keep seeing each other, which must be confusing. Episode six onwards is when they are really aware of their ability and start to communicate and help each other.

My favorite character is... Will Gorski and Sun Bak. I love how Will is really caring? It might sounds boring, but he's a good guy. And how he take big risks to save Riley even if that cost him too. Spoiler alert, but I just wish that Will still have some hopes in season 2. I also like the cast, Brian J. Smith, he kind of looks like Cory Monteith to me? But he got better jaw somehow. Too many people said they love Wolfgang but I think he's just typical badass guy who everyone adore but you will never wanted to be together. I know I'm very realist, and I'm sorry.

Meanwhile Sun is really a strong badass and loving person. She's willing to take fall for her family and her boxing skill is extraordinary. I always like seeing a strong independent woman, not a damsel in distress. Plus Sun's actress is amazing, Doona Bae, she's also playing in Cloud Atlas. I also like Riley for her music despite she's a little bit useless in the story, and I like her with Will but there's still some unfinished plot before she can move on with Will I think.

This show also promote a lot of diversity, like how everyone from different part of the world and different way to see the world. From Kala with her dancing bollywood scene on her wedding, Pride Parade, to some orange is the new black korean version, it's amusing. Feels like I'm watching everythiing at once. The most important issue is how they promote LGBTQ values, and on how everyone, no matter what is your background is just a human. Humanity value is really strong, and I love it.

Overall, this show is really good and I really love it and wish there will be a season two like right now. I recommend you to watch it no matter what preference of movie you like. Although this is a little bit sci-fi, drama, but there's also some fun part. So from me it's like 9.7 out of 10 <3

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Reading Challenge 2015

by Felly. - 4:46 AM

Disadur dari sebuah halaman Reading List di board School of Sarden, lebih mudah mengedit disini.

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2015 Reading Challenge

A book with more than 500 pages [ x ] A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin
A classic romance [ ]
A book that became a movie [ x ] Fifty Shades of Grey by EL James
A book published this year [ x ] The Ruby Circle by Richelle Mead
A book with a number in the title [ x ] Fifty Shades of Grey
A book written by someone under 30 [ ]
A book with nonhuman characters [ x ] The Ruby Circle by Richelle Mead & Animal Farm by George Orwell
A funny book [ ]
A book by a female author [ x ] Harry Potter and the Sorceress Stone by J.K. Rowling
A mystery or a thriller [ ]
A book with a one-word title [ x ] Landline by Rainbow Rowell
A book of short stories [ x ] Let It Snow by Maureen Johnson, John Green & Lauren Myracle
A book set in a different country [ ]
A nonfiction book [ x ] Horrible Histories: Rotten Roman by Terry Deary.
A popular author's first book [ x ] Looking for Alaska by John Green.
A book from an author you love that you haven't read yet [ v ] Paper Towns by John Green
A book a friend recommended [ ]
A Pulitzer Prize-winning book [ ]
A book based on a true story [ ]
A book at the bottom of your to-read list [ ]
A book from an Indonesian author [ x ] Unforgettable by Winna Efendi & Perahu Kertas by Dee
A book that scares you [ ]
A book more than 100 years old [ ]
A book based entirely on it's cover [ x ] Paper Towns by John Green
A book you were supposed to read in school but didn't [ x ] Animal Farm by George Orwell
A memoir [ ]
A book you can finish in a day [ x ] The Tales of Beedle The Bard by J.K. Rowling
A book with antonyms in the title [ ]
A book set somewhere you've always wanted to visit [ ]
A book that came out the year you were born [ ]
A book with bad reviews [ x ] Fifty Shades of Grey
A trilogy [ ]
A book from your childhood [ x ] Harry Potter and the Sorceress Stone by J.K. Rowling
A book with a love triangle [ ]
A book set in the future [ ]
A book set in high school [ x ] Looking for Alaska by John Green
A book with a color in the title [ x ] Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James
A book that made you cry [ ]
A book with magic [ ]
A graphic novel [ x ] Hey I'm Popular / Kiss Him, Not Me by Junko tbh it's a comic.
A book by an author you've never read before [ ]
A book you own but have never read [ ]
A book that takes place in your hometown [ ]
A book that was originally written in a different language (besides English and Bahasa) [ ]
A book set during Christmas [ x ] Let it Snow by John Green, Maureen Johnson, & Lauren Myracle
A book written by an author with your same initials [ ]
A play [ ]
A banned book [ ]
A book based on or turned into a TV show [ x ] A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin
A book you started but never finished [ x ] A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin (it takes a year)

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Coming Out

by Felly. - 8:27 AM

“Lucien, please stay.”

Aku tidak suka memohon-mohon kepada orang. Tapi ini Lucien, ia berbeda. Aku tidak pernah bertemu dengan orang lain sepertinya, ia membuat semuanya terasa tidak tidak berarti. Ia begitu memesona, ia dapat membuat semua orang melakukan apapun yang ia mau. Seperti Lucien adalah satu-satunya hal yang berarti dan yang lainnya tidak memiliki arti sama sekali. Perasaanku bertepuk sebelah tangan, tentunya.

- - -

Ini seharusnya adalah malam belajar kami, ujian akhir berada di depan mata. Lucien datang ke kamar asramaku untuk belajar. Ia memintaku untuk menjelaskan semua materi untuk besok dari awal sampai akhir. Dalam situasi normal, aku bahkan tidak akan susah-susah menjelaskan apapun, cukup mengusir orang itu keluar saja. Tapi ini Lucien, maka aku setuju melakukannya. Hanya saja irisnya yang berwarna terang, aroma tubuhnya yang manis, mengacaukan konsentrasiku sepanjang waktu. Lama kelamaan aku tidak bisa berpura-pura bahwa aku tidak menyadarinya. Sastra Inggris tidak sesulit itu kan? Bukankah kita sudah belajar untuk membaca sejak berusia tiga tahun? Ditambah pula dengan fakta bahwa kami sama-sama membenci dosen sastra. Kami sudah setuju bahwa ia orang yang paling menyebalkan di seluruh kampus.

“Aku lelah,” Lucien memegang keningnya. “Bisakah kita beristirahat sebentar?”

Belum sempat menjawab, ia tersenyum ke arahku—senyuman yang begitu menawan—dan hal berikutnya yang aku tahu, Lucien melompat ke atas tempat tidurku dan mengubur dirinya di dalam kehangatan selimutku. Ia bahkan menggodaku untuk meninggalkan meja belajar dan bergabung dengannya.

Butuh waktu, tapi aku berakhir menghabiskan waktu dalam dekapannya dengan cara-cara yang membuatnya mempertanyakan apa intensi di baliknya. Aku berusaha keras untuk menghindari kata ‘mesra’ tentu, tidak ada apapun yang terjadi. Lagipula, aku masih tertarik dengan wanita sementara Lucien, ia sepertinya pansexual. Bagaikan singa yang menaklukan semua benua dan membuat cinta tumbuh dan membiarkannya rekah dimana-mana.

Sementara aku? Bukan siapa-siapa dan bukan apa-apa.

——

“Aku tidak bisa, Simon dear. Pasukan inspeksi akan memeriksa kamar-kamar dalam waktu, ” Ia berhenti berbicara dan memeriksa jam tangannya. “Lima belas menit. Dan ini sudah larut malam, kamu membutuhkan tidurmu.” Lucien menjawil hidungku dengan cara yang begitu manis. “Sampai ketemu besok, Simon?”

Lucien bangkit dari kasurku dan mengenakan jaketnya dan berjalan keluar. Aku tidak mau Lucien pergi, tidak akan ada malam seperti ini lagi di masa depan. Bagaimana jika Lucien pergi ke kamar orang lain dan melakukan hal serupa kepadanya? Aku hanyalah variabel dalam skenario Lucien, bisa dengan mudah digantikan dengan orang lain. Aku ingin satu malam saja bersamanya tetapi sepertinya Lucien sudah berjalan ke ujung lorong, seperti tidak akan kembali lagi.

Menyadari bahwa aku mengamati dari ujung pintu, Lucien menatapku dari jauh dan tersenyum, lalu menutup pintu kamarnya.

— —

“Kath, bagaimana kamu tahu kalau seseorang benar-benar menyukaimu?”

Kakakku, Kathryn, sudah bertunangan dengan seorang pemuda kaya yang sudah bersama sejak sekolah menengah atas. Kebetulan sedang berkunjung akhir pekan ini ke kampusku.Tentu saja ia lebih tahu banyak hal dari padaku, dan aku membutuhkan bantuannya.

“Well, dia perhatian kepadamu dan selalu baik, terkadang memberikan afeksi secara fisik.”

“Bagaimana kalau ia melakukannya ke semua orang?”

“Tunggu—Simon. Apakah kamu sedang menyukai seseorang?” Kakakku tersenyum jahil, memang ini pertama kalinya aku berbicara mengenai topik ini kepada kakakku.

“Ya dan tidak—tolong, Kath. Jangan tanya detail lagi kepadaku.”

“Deskripsikan gadis beruntung itu,”

Aku menelan ludah, tidak ingin terlalu cepat mengoreksi bahwa itu bukan ‘gadis’ melainkan seorang pemuda. Pernah sekali aku mendengar Kath berdiskusi mengenai topik homophobia bersama orangtuaku dan aku belum siap dijadikan subjek.

“Tinggi, kurus, iris matanya terang, senyumannya manis,” Aku ingin tersenyum sendiri mengingat senyuman Lucien malam itu, malam terakhir aku bertemu dengannya setelah ia menghilang seminggu dan terus menghitung. Ia tidak muncul di ujian dan tidak dimanapun. Perlahan-lahan perasaanku menjadi kacau, apakah Lucien sengaja menghindariku?

“Apakah ia calon ibu rumah tangga yang baik? Pintar memasak? Atau apa?”

Aku memutar bola mataku, Kath benar-benar berpikir bahwa ini perempuan, tentu saja semua orang akan merasa seperti itu. Untuk hal ini, aku merasa membutuhkan seseorang untuk diajak berbicara dan selama ini Kath cukup dapat dipercaya.

“Dia bukan seorang calon ibu rumah tangga yang baik. Kath aku ingin mengaku sesuatu, tapi tolong jangan beritahukan siapapun, please? Ini masih membingungkan untukku.”

“Apa maksudmu, Simon?”

“Dia seorang laki-laki. Tapi aku bukan gay,”

“Lalu bagaimana kamu mendefinisikan dirimu?”

Aku tidak bisa. Aku tidak tahu apa yang harus aku katakan kepada Kath, itu masalahnya di antara masalah-masalah lain.

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[Felly Does Review] Thoughts, Questions, and Lessons from Game of Thrones S05E10: Mother's Mercy Season Finale.

by Felly. - 1:46 AM

Basically, there's going to be a lots of spoiler here because I just can't. So, if I suggest you should watch it first, even if it is really heartbreaking. Or maybe you just preferred to be spoiled here, well, your choice.

Now, I've been catching up with Game of Thrones since... idk, maybe later in 2014? Non-stop watching as this show grows a little heartbreaking to really heartbreaking, seems like they always find a way to break my heart more and more. I'm always fond of the Starks, but seems like they're falling apart worse and worst. And I thought I can't make it to season 5 but I managed to finish up before season 5 start, and watching season 5 as the airing date.

I'm going to talk about the plot. There's a lot of twist in this episode, as expected, but we will never expect what is the twist. Sometimes I think the showrunner of Game of Thrones is really heartless, even more heartless than Steven Moffat huh T__T Here are my thoughts and the lesson we can get plus some question raised from watching Game of Thrones finale

1. Stannis' wife commit suicide and suprise attack from the Boltons.
I bet he's cursed for what he have done. It's a reminder that Stannis is the worst father ever YOU DO NOT BURN YOUR CHILD ALIVE JUST FOR THE SAKE OF THE GLORY. That's like against the first rule of parenting.

Yes, that's lesson number one people. You should love your family more than ever, what is it if you have all the money or glory in the world but you feel lonely and hollow inside? So kids, never follow the actions of Stannis Baratheon. Never.
My only question on this one is, when will Ramsay die? tsk.

2. Sam is leaving Castle Black with Gilly and little Sam,
It's has been known that Jon Snow actually have more enemies than friends in Castle Black. I feel bad for him, and Sam is leaving Castle Black with Gilly just to become Maester? I have a bad feeling already, I mean, he's Jon only friend, at least he should stay for now, what happens if something happened? AND IT IS, my bad feelng proven to be right.

3. Stannis's end.
One thought: he deserve it.
After being so horrible to her only daughter, and killing his own brother and also count as cheating with using Blood Magic, he deserve to be punished. I don't really like you that much, but I don't hate him either. But I think it's a reasonable end for Stannis in the eye of proportionality. Plus Melissandre is letting him down with leaving him even before the battle started, I don't like her, I despise her.
The lesson is never trust shady woman who practised shady magic. Even if it was proven for some time being.

4. Theon standing up for Sansa.
This may be the happiest part of this episode. I'm glad I can finally call him Theon, not Reek. He's back to Theon Greyjoy, saving Sansa! I think he should've done this a long time ago. I hope that Theon and Sansa survived, well, but I don't know how the Throne rolls.
My question is; Will they escaped from Winterfell? Will Theon back to his own self?

5. End of Arya's Arc.
Finally after the most mysterious-confusing arc of this season comes to light. It was a temporary glory for Arya when she finally met Meryn Trant, and he's a dick for beating up little girls, and Arya did her thing. It was kind of disgusting image with a lot of... details. And Arya is still seeking for acknowledgement from Meryn, and she paid the price. I actually feel bad with Arya... even she's still alive.
The lesson is you should've done as what you've told. I actually against this one, I can't do it to Arya <///3

6. The Lannister is leaving Dorne.
I thought it would be suitable for the epic line of Star Wars. 'I am your father.' but no. Aw, Jaime finally get his acknowledgement, plus a hug from Myrcella.
Question: BUT THEN WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO HER? and where the fudge is Trystane?

7. Mission for Jorah the Explorer and Daario the Beard and Varys returned.
and Tyrion Lannister reunited with Lord Varys. Honestly when Tyrion said "I miss you" I really wanted to say 'Cieee." Well, nothing major in this part, just... the usual stuffs.

8. Daenerys Targaryen is stranded!
I don't like her. And when she got stranded I said 'that's what you get you should've not run away with dragon that you clearly can't control!' and suddenly she's surrounded by possibly Dothraki, I don't get this show at all.
Lesson for you is, you shouldn't brag what you cannot control. Daenerys clearly cannot control her dragon yet she claimed it as her child, and she got stranded!
Question: What will the Dothraki do to Daenerys?

9. Cersei's Walk of Shame.

She deserve it, she deserve so much worst. But this scene is kinda exaggerated, with long duration, honestly I never enjoy Game of Thrones nude scene, I know that some people does, but it doesn't need to be this long. Too much time allocated for Cersei walk of shame, I wish the time will be allocated to Winterfell war instead. I always expect to see that.

Lesson: Your choices have consequences, just as Cersei choose to do so, she bear her consequences.
Question: WHO IS THE NEW KINGSGUARD I REALLY WANT TO KNOW!

10. The most heartbreaking moment of all; the end of our favorite man who knows nothing.

I'm speechless.
I'm just saying that he shouldn't die there. I mean it's an irony of how brave is Jon Snow, he fought bravely with the Wildlings, he fought the White Walkers, but he got off his guard and he was killed by someone that should be on his side. More heartbreakingly, by Olly, he seems like a nice lad. But I can understand that he felt disappointed by Jon's decision.

Plus, I always like Starks. At first I think Jon and Robb would be a dynamic duo, they look alike and etc, I can't stand they have two similar tragic ending <//3

Lessons we got is, trust no one. and for Sam, do not leave your bestfriend in the castle full of ex-criminals when he just did something controversial.

Question: What will happen after Jon dies? I mean he and Stannis is the only man in the Westeros that is aware of White Walkers attack, plus Sam actually. What happened after they're gone? I bet the White Walkers will be the one who won the war.
And, what happened to the wildlings?

We need to wait for another year for season 6. I don't know do I want to watch this show anymore. Too much twist. Maybe I'll watch the ending. I cant take this <///3

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[Felly Does Review] Broadchurch Series 1

by Felly. - 6:44 AM

I know this is wayy wayy late. I mean, the second season of Broadchurch has already released earlier this year, but I just finished the first season and it's so good, even it makes me lost my appetite (?) on watching any other TV show at the moment. It's good, and I'll tell you why in this review.

First of all, I started to see this series just because there's David Tennant and Arthur Darvill in it. I know, I'm such a sucker for Doctor Who cast and David Tennant and Arthur Darvil are my favorite cast as 10th doctor and Rory Williams a.k.a. The Last Centurion and the best best best husband ever #ishouldstop

The crime drama overall is a very good paced drama. The mood of drama is somehow kind of gloomy but not too gloomy, it just felt right. Suspenseful too, keep me in my seat without feeling bored at all. The whole time I'm watching drama with suspense and like "OH I'M SURE HE DIDN'T DO IT." or "he might be the one idk I just feel it in my bones" and it's just sooo good. Everything just seemed to be in the right place and the right timing, I love it. The setting of the drama is also very pretty, set in fictional city of Broadchurch, whilst actually shooted in Dorset. I would like to visit that cliff someday!

Plotwise, It started with when Ellie Miller(Olivia Coleman) came back from Florida and found out that Alec Hardy (David Tennant) have taken her job as a Detective Inspector (DI for short) in Wessex police. And they found out about the murder of Danny Latimer, 11 years old boy child of Mark & Beth Latimer. And the story revolve around how Danny's death will change a close-knit community in Broadchurch. They have secrets, and some are revealed because of the investigation.

The show overall is really emotional. Maybe it's what making it more interesting, I never saw once in my that David Bradley (I hope I didn't get his name wrong) a.k.a. the 70-ish years old who play Argus Filch in Harry Potter and Walder Frey in Game of Thrones got really emotional, even seen as vulnerable. Other cast as well, like David Tennant, I never seen him in such a vulnerable state when he play as The Doctor in Doctor Who and he's really into it. Basically it's an emotional roller coaster show, and it's totally good, I like how the emotion really define the drama because it was put in a reasonable and right circumstances.

I should give a whole paragraph to comment on Arthur Darvill as Paul Coates. He's the reason why I watched this show. I also like this character, he's a troubled little reverend. He seems lonely, trying to reach the community of Broadchurch when they're not really religious anymore. He also have his own conflict, with his addiction, but he did well. I love how Arthur played a character that is a little bit different from Rory, even I still like Rory more. Another reminder for me to watch Broadchurch is because it always reminds me to when Arthur Darvill did Surprise Karaoke of Let It Go partody on BBC Radio 1, 'All you need is a google search to see I'm in Broadchurchh'. It was epic and glorious.

One of the best feature of this show is the music. The original score is written by Olafur Arnalds himself. And he's a genius, I always found his songs is fairly simple, but really changed the whole mood of the show. I believe at least 50% mood of the show should be credited to the music. I feel the despair, the angst, and everything, I love it, The music consist of a little orchestral, with piano, string quartet and synthesizer, but he knows the best, Olafur Arnalds can compose it into such a beautiful piece. They even won BAFTA.

Also some interesting cast they got! I always see a movie/TV show based on Plotwise and Castwise, and now. And I love the cast of this show, beside Arthur Darvill and David Tennant that I mentioned earlier, there's also a familiar face. Greyworm of the Unsullied from Game of Thrones is also playing here as Dean! I mean, Grey Worm! I think his name is Raleigh Ritchie / Jacob Anderson. He's awesome, I thought he's the bad guy but he's not :| he's just Chloe's boyfriend and only seventeen~ I'm sure he's not seventeen at all. Another cast that I like is Olly. He's cute, he reminds me of Greg James somehow and I like him.

A little spoiler here. The revelation in the season finale it's a plot twist, but I still feel there's something wrong and unclear about the two last suspect before the killer. There's something not right, and I don't like Nigel expression when he was interviewed, like... some kind of maniac, When I watched it, I thought that there's a possibility Mark did it, no way Reverend or Jack would do it, Susan and Nigel is very suspicious too.

Overall with great plotline, setting, and cast, it is the best TV show that I have watched in a while. I'll give 9.7 out of 10 because I love it that much. And I'm going to watch the second season of it soon!

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[felly's thoughts on]Doctor Who: Journey's End (s04x13)

by Felly. - 7:38 PM

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[FELLY DOES REVIEW]Thoughts on Whiplash

by Felly. - 10:05 PM

Year: 2014

Genre: Drama, Music

Duration: 107 minutes

Cast: Miles Teller, J.K. Simmons, Paul Reiser, Melissa Benoist.

Director & Writer: Damien Chazelle

The Plot

Andrew Neiman, a first year drum student who plays for the Jazz Band. Somehow he got accepted to the top Jazz Band (referenced as the Studio Band) as an alternate. There's a little bit problem through with their conductor, Terrence Fletcher, he's abusive with his word and his action. I mean, only one note is out of tune then you're out? However he have a little soft spot for Neiman, even if he's still so rough to him. And the story goes on about Neiman's struggle to be the greatest, with Fletcher stance is not really clear whether he want to choke Neiman to death (not literally, well, maybe literally) or he want to make him the greatest musician alive.

Now, it get to a part of my thoughts, which is not spoiler free.

Thoughts on the film

First of all this film is super relate-able with me in so many different level. I say this film is a really good one. Like he’s a musician, and he is talking about the idea of people fear in oblivion, then the car crash—unless he doesn't need to take care of the car because it’s just a rental, it makes me squeak literally, I didn't see it coming. And about rough training by Fletcher? It kinda reminds me to a method of practice in some kind of debating club in a uni where if you are rubbish, people will throw a bottle to you. Yep. The purpose is simple, to make you feel bad for a while, then get rebound as high as it is possible.

This film also tends to make me swear, like quite lot for a few hour, maybe it's a side effect of watching Fletcher swear alot. I’m doing my best to not swear in this review. But I never have a shitty teacher like Fletcher, well, I do actually. Not as hardcore as him, but he’s like always talking about music theory for half an hour at most of rehearsal and even quizzing a 5^th grader about interval or chords, I’m not sure.

And is Fletcher band’s kinda misogynist band? Barely see girl in the band. At minutes 4 the film bought me up with the Jazz music, it’s not jazz that I like, I just like Brass section very much, such an eargasm. When they start playing, it caught me. I love listening to brass, I just can't describe my love.

The ending, however, it’s kinda up to interpretation, and I don’t like this kind of ending. Is Andrew is on peace with Fletcher or he’s really going to gauge his eyes? I can’t actually tell that is he a bad guy or a good guy, Fletcher, I mean. He’s really unpredictable.

This film also taught me how to take charge of your life, Andrew is being humiliated but He’s taking over the band, he plays the song that he want, fuck yeah! The thing is, I just feel inspired after watching this film. It taught me when you get pushed or discourage by someone/some event, you shouldn't just drown and diluted in your problem, you should fight back and take over, fight for you goal.

So overall? 9.5 out of 10, a really good film. I love it, I'm not even feel bored like I do usually when I watch drama.

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[Felly Does Review] Kingsman: The Secret Service

by Felly. - 7:26 AM

It's been awhile since I'm here, hey-o!

I've been busy with mid-exam week, and I just finished in Friday. What makes it awesome? Finishing exam is pleasant, and having a week off next week is even more anticipated! Honestly, I never been a type of person that is working her arse off in the exam week, studying like 24/7. I actually spent invested my time more in watching the biggest show in the United Kingdom, Doctor Who!

I will talk about Doctor Who in other post perhaps, for now, I'm just going to give a little review about Kingsman. It's been a while since I watch a film in the cinema, last one was the Maze Runner in last September, so I was very anxious. I smuggled some crispy chicken fillet and gurin for my companion in today's experience.

Oh yeah, this is a review with some spoiler, for your information.

The thing is, I totally love the audio that is provided in the cinema, it's the only reason why I think it is worth to watch movie in the cinema. That movie is basically about a boy (Gary 'Eggsy' Urwin) that his deceased father was a member of a independent secret agent called the Kingsman. Meanwhile I've been obsessed with all kind of posh-y theme, the main character, Eggsy, is not posh at all. He's like the poorer version of British Justin Bieber from his outfit. And I can tell that he doesn't have the Received Pronunciation, it's a good thing for some point. I can see the diversity in British pronunciation. And the nickname Eggsy tho, I mean, it reminds me to Egg Benedict that I had for my dinner. To put things simple, he didn't came from aristocrat background, he lives in poor housing estate and her mum got beaten up frequently by his step-father.

Harry Hart a.k.a. Galahad (Yes, they are using code name from the Knight of Round Table) is recruiting Eggsy to be a Kingsman. Yes, it's like those typical movie but I'm amused. I always like when they have some initiation. To put it shortly they have a part of when they almost die drowning, skydiving without parachute, killing a SUPER CUTE dog, tied up in a rail. And so on.

Awesome, see?

Most of the initiates are Posh people, Cambridge or Oxford graduate who keeps mocking Eggsy, but apparently they're not the true gentleman. There's one girl though, Roxy, super badass yet still seems so lovely. For short, Eggsy didn't pass, Roxy did. But Colin Firth didn't make it (I really doubt it) and there's some betrayal, and so on and so on. I don't want to spoil the whole movie, just watch it!

Totally my kind of movie, I like British, Secret Agent, and Posh & Gentleman theme, Taron Egerton is kinda cute. Even my friend who do BARELY EVEN TALK ABOUT CAUCASIAN MEN THOUGHT THAT IS IS CUTE, just for some brief minutes though. But still!

This movie also featured Samuel L. Jackson (a.k.a. Nick Fury) as a villain, everyone insist that Colin Firth is the man, but I kinda doesn't feel his charm, this is his first movie that I watch tho. Meanwhile tumblr and the internet in in the craze of Harry/Eggsy, honestly I'm more like Eggsy/Roxy. It's a good thing that my fujo syndrome is healing well, yay for me.

Oh and there's a scene that makes me laugh when there's no one laughing, it's when Eggsy watching someone die in the laptop screen and scream "nooo!" and my friend question my sense of humour certainly. I could relate myself to Eggsy, that's totally me when I saw my favorite character die when watching TV show / anything. It should be viral on tumblr.

I also appreciate the original sountrack of Kingsman, I mean the orchestra and stuffs, they're awesome! I always like those orchestra that actually plays some big role in terms of building the feel of a scene. It's an awesome job, I always want to be a part of them.

Overall, this movie is 4.8 out of 5, almost perfect.

The only reason why I don't give perfect score is some plot hole. Like why Eggsy enemy/whatever didn't pick up sign that Eggsy is turning into Harry number 2 and let themselves got beaten up again, twice. No one is as stupid as that, they should show some sign of afraid, or even wanting to revenge,whatever? (although the scene of they got beaten up never shown, but they certainly got beaten up in my opinion.) There's something else, but I forgot what it is. Cast is good, theme is good, plot is good, and the action just spice up the whole thing, ultra cool! I love it! Would be happy if there's a sequel!

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2014 Ultimate Review part 1.

by Felly. - 12:57 AM

Overall Review:

I had a theory when I think… my number years is usually more awesome than the odd number. On which it is nothing more than just strange and untrue belief, maybe it will be more likely that it only came from my point of view, as I do believe that I will seize and search for more opportunities in 2015.

Basically it is a great year for me, some things went unexpected but overall, it has a lot of things to remember, and a lot of things that I learned. I had some experiences for debating, travelling, more awesome music, study, friends, culture learning, reading, and many more. Even from sometimes when things don’t go in the way that I expect, I still have something to learn, eh?

Musical Review:

This section will always be my favorite in every year! Music has been always a part of my life far far before I’m aware of that. This year, I have a major influence from BBC Radio 1, since I start to listen it regularly from February. And this year I’m going to gives some highlights to Album and Artist that is big this year according to me, plus an event (that I probably just watch via youtube or something else) without further do, here it is!

This year I'm officially moving on from my previous genre, which is rock/ alt. rock / hardcore etc. to British Pop music. It's not like I suddenly hate Bring Me The Horizon or Young Guns (which it is impossible) I'm just not following the new bands, I'm sticking to The Maine and Young Guns probably now.

ARTIST HIGHLIGHTS:

1. Sam Smith

He’s the sound of 2014 according to BBC and to me. I just watched a piece of his interview with Zane Lowe, and he said that his album In The Lonely Hour is about he who never experienced a relationship, and like the one who have unreturned love. (I’m like, no wonder this album fits me much #PLAK) but that’s not point! =))

He have a super catchy yet super mellow and accurate song. I start listening to him from… Latch, or something? Before his album came out, the Nirvana EP I think. And I just know that he’s going to be my favorite artist. Well, when Money on My Mind become viral I thought that it’s just a dumb song with meaningless repetition, but it change when Stay With Me came out, and my favorite of the album is still Leave Your Lover. Even some of his song become overly played, and usually I hate overly played song, but I can tolerate. Even well, I like Stay With Me a little less than the first time I listen to it, and I’m Not The Only One too, maybe because it is not really relatable to me or because it is overly played (or both)

He have amazing voice, amazing music, lyrics and basically everything that an artist possibly could have, I wish to see more of his works in 2015!

2. Clean Bandit

I found this band at BBC Radio 1 when I was looking for the live lounge and saw Grace Chatto and her cello. I’m curious and then I search for this band, plus at that time Rather Be was super viral and it is indeed a catchy song with a perfect touch of violin and cellos inside the song. This band is a quartet consist of Neil-Milan in Violin, Grace Chatto in Cello, Jack Patterson in Synth, Luke Patterson in Drums. Four of them are Cambridge alumni, which makes them even more cooler, aside from their music.

They music, is the fusion of electronic music and classical music, some of their earlier track even use a sample from original classical song (as Neil and Grace are classically trained musician, meaning they have experience playing in string quartet/orchestra) like Mozart House for example. But somehow, it felt right, even most of the time Neil is just dancing on the stage when he's not playing the violin but it's still so cool.

The biggest event this year for Clean Bandit for me is the Clean Bandit Radio 1 Symphony with BBC Philharmonic, which is a huge thing and sooo awesome. They're playing all of their song in the orchestral manner, it's soooo awesome. I can't even say how, I'm hoping to see more of their awesome stuffs in this year, and this is one of the artist that I will definitely go if they make concert near me.

ALBUM HIGHLIGHTS (in Random Order):

1. Sam Smith - In The Lonely Hour
2. Clean Bandit - New Eyes
3. 5 Seconds of Summer - Self Titled(this is super guilty pleasure album, I kinda dont like 5sos but they're album is good so... yeah.)
4. George Ezra - Wanted on Voyage
5. The Script - No Sound Without Silence.
6. Calvin Harris - Motion
7. Ed Sheeran - X

SOCIAL MEDIA REVIEW:

Youtube.
This is a short review about youtube. AS this is one of the website that I have spent my time hea even there's something that I need to do, this is a little piece of appreciation and advice maybe for you, the reader, whether you want to start to watch youtube, or going to rewatching youtube channel.

1. Danisnotonfire & AmazingPhil
Honestly I just start to look into their videos now, I know them since last year I think but never really... care about their video. I fell in love with them after watching 10 episodes of they're playing the Sims 4 starring Dil Howlter a.k.a. the child of Dan Howell and Phil Lester. And they're just so funny! I like Dan and how he promoting himself as the Internet Cult Leader somehow. He's weird as me, but he's cute, and he's famous for his weirdness/awkwardness.

2. ThatcherJoe
It is undeniable that he has some great videos, like his pranks and his impression. I don't know why but I keep on following his videos in 2014, hoping for some funny stuffs in 2015!

3. TreePotatoes
This is kind of out of context, tree potatoes is a singaporean group of youtuber, they make funny videos about SG related thing, and it's just a good excuse for me to neglect my work and watch videos instead.

4. WahBanana
Another SG youtuber group, quite a bit like TreePotatoes, in fact, TreePotatoes was in the WahBanana before they make treepotatoes. But well, the content is quiet good, why not watching them?

5. Caspar Lee
Because he's Joe's roommate? no. he's kind of funny from the very start, even sometimes I don't get his jokes, I like when he's doing stand up comedy and pranking his mom, his mom is the sweetest <3 but the cruelest thing he done this year is that he dumped Emma for pizza I CAN'T EVEN TOLERATE WITH THAT HUH.

And many more, they're just a few that I keep up with, I watch Zoella, JacksGap, Michelle Phan, Alfie, Marcus, etc. but here's the few of my favorite.

I think this will wrap up a bit, I never thought writing a ultimate review will be this hard u__u I'm so distracted, thanks youtube.

Wait for Movies of 2014, Top Ten Movies in 2014, Travel Diaries, Books, and more things to sums up my year, plus a new year resolution. Here's one, I will not look back into the past so often and march bravely into the future, and that means I will finish all of the reviews today, even I just went back from a nine hour trip last night from Central Java, but I will do it! (ameen #slapped)

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monologue narratives.

Dear The Maine,

Things That I Can't Speak

'Cause I've done some things that I can't speak

And I've tried to wash you away but you just won't leave

REVIEW: Sense8 Season 1. [felly does review]

Reading Challenge 2015

2015 Reading Challenge

Coming Out

[Felly Does Review] Thoughts, Questions, and Lessons from Game of Thrones S05E10: Mother's Mercy Season Finale.

[Felly Does Review] Broadchurch Series 1

[felly's thoughts on]Doctor Who: Journey's End (s04x13)

[FELLY DOES REVIEW]Thoughts on Whiplash

[Felly Does Review] Kingsman: The Secret Service

2014 Ultimate Review part 1.

About me

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'Cause I've done some things that I can't speak And I've tried to wash you away but you just won't leave

2015 Reading Challenge

About me

Instagram

Labels

recent posts

Blog Archive

'Cause I've done some things that I can't speak

And I've tried to wash you away but you just won't leave